4 words: hood of his car
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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