my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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