it's too hot outside to masturbate.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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