Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
