Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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