I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize