That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
