I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
