Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
its not stalking. its research.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
