Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I currently don't understand fingers.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
