"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I cut my penus on the lid.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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