If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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