When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
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