just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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