Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
