We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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