We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize