I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
