she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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