Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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