Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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