this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
this just has baby written all over it
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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