"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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