You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I could fuck to npr.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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