Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
