Already got asked if we're dating
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
