Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
