Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
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We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
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My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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