you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
