Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
