I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize