i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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