Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Randomize
