I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
