There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize