At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I love you. Go after that dick
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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