ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
