how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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