Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
