roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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