i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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