He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
