My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize