I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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