Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
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