Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
