It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
My cat gives me a boner
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
