One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
