In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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