I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
