He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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