My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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