I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
did you just send me my own nude
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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