she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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