He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
