do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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