you guys were way drunker than both of me
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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