ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
apparently the secret to your success is patron
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
