She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
