i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
