Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
