I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
